First Time Wasted
by lilrubydevil
Summary: All Jou wanted was a smile from Seto Kaiba. Instead, he got an explanation of how come he never smiled in the first place. [hinted SJ]


I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

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All Jou wanted was a smile from Seto Kaiba. Instead, he got an explanation of how come he never smiled in the first place. (hinted S/J)

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**First Time Wasted**

_Written on July 12, 2005_

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"How come you don't smile?"

Those were the first words that Jou blurted out, without on ounce of thinking. Kaiba stopped reading his paperwork for a brief moment and then resumed reading. "I don't know what you're talking about," he answered coolly, not bothering to look at him, completely absorbed in the papers.

Jou shifted in his seat once more to get into a more comfortable position and yanked the papers away from him, causing Kaiba to close his eyes and then murderously looking at Jou with a death glare. "Give me back the papers," he commanded calmly, his blue eyes cold as ice.

"No," Jou responded simply, taking the papers and folding into a small square to fit inside his pockets. "Not until you answer me. Come on, Kaiba, all I'm looking for is a simple, yet truthful explanation. It's that hard you know."

"How would you know, you're not me." Kaiba took out his laptop and started it up, deciding to get the papers back later. Then he stopped suddenly and turned to look at Jou. "Why do you want to know anyway?"

Good question. Jou felt Kaiba's eyes burning into his and he dropped his gaze immediately, wondering how to respond. If he told him the truth, Kaiba would demand to know why. If he told him a lie, Kaiba was bound to find out because Kaiba knew how to tell lies—he practically grew up distinguishing between truths and lies.

The truth was that it was Jou's birthday and all he wished for was for a smile from the cynical and skeptical CEO. It was something he wanted this year and for some reason, it was the _only_ thing he wanted. All he wanted was for Kaiba to look his way and smile _genuinely _at him.

He knew that he probably couldn't get his wish. Seto Kaiba would sooner sell his soul to the devil before showing Jou a side of him that Kaiba considered weak. (Kaiba considered any form of happiness weak.) Yet, Jou just wanted a glimpse of Kaiba, just like any human being, with a smile on his face, a privilege that no one else had experienced before.

Which was why, for the first time in all the years he had known him, Jou had finally mustered enough courage to talk to him. And he blew it. He could not believe that his first words that he ever spoke to Seto Kaiba were, "How come you don't smile?"

Smooth.

Although he already knew that he wasn't going to get a smile, he thought he could at least get an explanation why. It was better than nothing and at least it let Jou walk away with a new sense of knowledge about the CEO that no one really knew.

"I don't know," Jou responded kind of plainly. He glanced back at Kaiba again, surprised to see that Kaiba was still staring at him with some sort of odd expression. "Just—oh, never mind, it was stupid anyway."

Jou took out the folded pieces of paper and put it on the table. He got up, not waiting for Kaiba to kick him out, and started to walk away when he heard Kaiba say something, not quite loud enough for Jou to hear exactly.

It cause Jou to turn around and he noticed that Kaiba had folded his hands on his lap. Kaiba's blue eyes were on the floor and his mouth was moving. He spoke louder this time so that Jou could hear him from where he was standing.

"Smiling is a symbolic evidence showing happiness," Kaiba started off, his voice dry and quiet, as if imitating a robot. "If one were to smile, it proves that that person is seeing something that they enjoy or feeling a sense of contentment."

He paused.

"I don't have anything to be happy about except Mokuba, therefore I cannot smile because there's nothing to smile for, or nothing to direct my smile at. Smiling for me is a wasted action. Nothing here makes me feel happy, the way Mokuba does."

"But... there is _one _person other person that could change that. He could just look my way and talk to me as if I was one of his beloved friends and that would be enough; that would be enough for me to feel joyful about. But he doesn't. I spend day after day watching him, hoping that that was the day he would come to me and greet me hello or ask me how my day was. But he never did. And he won't. He won't because the _one_ time he spent with me, he asked me a question that I've been asking myself over and over."

Pause again. "It'll probably be the only time too."

Kaiba's gaze turned towards Jou and then he turned back to his computer and started to type, ignoring Jou once more and pretending as if he wasn't in the room. Jou could only stare as he let his words sink in until he understood.

Thinking that it was time to get going, Jou headed towards the door before he heard Kaiba say, "Jou?"

Not bothering to face him, he said loudly, "Yeah?"

There was as brief period of silence.

"Happy birthday."

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-OWARI-

Whoa... this story is such... _crap! _haha, I never said this about any other story, but I can probably say that this is the worst story I have ever written... Gee, so unrealistic and so fake! (I bet that's what everyone is going to tell me in the reviews –sigh-)

_Oh well_. I just wanted to _write_, anything really. And if I get at least one good review for this pathetic excuse of a story, I will be very, very happy and it'll be the best birthday present ever –smiles-

Oh, yeah, it's my birthday! Well... July 13. But still, close enough! Which was why it was Jou's birthday as well... hey, I was bored, leave me alone...

Anyways, I'm just looking for **one** good one. Be truthful though, that's all I can ask. And if you're gonna be mean, be constructive as well! I bruise easily.

-lilrubydevil-


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